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Home > Ask the Advocate > Managing Parent-School Disputes During COVID-19: Perspectives, Power, Threats and Trust by Pat Howey |
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Managing Parent-School Disputes During the COVID-19 Pandemic: "Between COVID-19, job stress, school closures, virtual school, and a child who lost skills and regressed, we've have been through the wringer."
Pat Answers: In theory, you might be able to trust others to look out for your child's interests. But when you are educating a child with special needs, especially during an unpredictable pandemic, you need to expect disagreements. You will never get all the people who must attend these meetings to agree on what "the right thing" means. Many school districts had standardized "One-Size-Fits-All" (OSFA) special education programs before the COVID-19 school closures. Decisions about a child's program and placement were based on the child's disability category or label and what the school had available, not on the child's unique needs. This is even more true now, during the COVID-19 pandemic, as schools try to educate all students, while also trying to protect teachers from COVID-19 by allowing little or no in-person contact.Schools are in the decision-making process for the short-term. As a parent, you are in this for the long-term. Parents and Schools: Different Perspectives Invariably, parents and schools look at a child's education from vastly different perspectives. Schools are only required to develop learning goals and objectives for a twelve month period.
See Chapter 14 about Resolving Parent-School Disputes
When Disagreements Turn Into Power Struggles
"But my child's team said I have to give consent to educating my child on their virtual platform. If I don't sign their consent form, my child will receive no services at all. When the school draws lines in the sand, this harms our relationship."
Pat Answers:
There is nothing wrong with disagreeing on an issue. As you see, the problems come from the manner in which disagreements are handled. Disagreements often turn into power struggles. Power struggles do not make anyone look good (for those who think I don't know what I'm talking about, review Howey v. Tippecanoe School Corporation. I am Mrs. Howey). Had I understood this earlier, it might have made a difference between the $50,000 in attorney's fees we requested and the $20,000 we received. If you have questions about how to resolve problems with the school, check out the Resolving Disputes Pop-Up Tool. The Resolving Disputes Pop-Up Tool has 12 Questions and Answers. Question #1 is "I don't agree with the school's proposed IEP. What should I do?" You'll find answers to over 200 questions about IEPs in Wrightslaw: All About IEPs, a comprehensive, easy-to-read book with clear, concise answers to questions about IEPs. Table of Contents.
The Law Gives Parents Power -- Use Your Power Wisely As a parent, you need to understand that the law gives you power to use in educational
decisions for your children. You should not be afraid to use your power.
True advocacy is about improving the lives of children, and ensuring that they
become independent, productive, taxpaying citizens who belong to the community in which they live. "I'm tired of being jerked around at IEP meetings so I said I was bringing an attorney to the next meeting, But I don't have legal representation. Their response surprised me. Pat Answers: It's dangerous to make threats. What if you can't find an attorney to represent you? It sounds like the school suspects you don't have an attorney and views you as a parent who makes empty threats.
"I hate going to IEP meetings. The team interrupts me and talks over me. They are not willing to respond to my questions and comments." Pat Answers: This happens because parents don't know how to take control of the situation. You need to learn to use subtle psychological strategies. Here are a few strategies that will help. First, when you go to a team meeting, get there early. You are an equal team member. Stand straight and act like an equal team member!
Don't fall for the old divide-and-conquer game of "us v. them." If the pace is too fast, tell the chairperson that you can't keep up. Ask them to slow down so that you can take notes. Be persistent. With some school people, you have to repeat your request
several times. It helps to pretend that they are your children. You know how many times you have to tell your children to do something, or stop doing something,
before they comply! If the team refuses to slow down in response to your requests, you should document this in your written follow-up letter. The Power of Your Written Follow-up Letter Your follow-up letter is more important than the notes you keep. Your
follow-up letter documents what you experienced during the meeting and includes answers to your questions and requests, disagreements, procedural errors, untruths, misstatements -- all the things that never make it into the school's meeting notes.
Do not attack people.
Keep your follow-up letter factual, not emotional. After the meeting, you might write something like this: Written
Opinion Team Meeting DATE Child's Name I requested an independent educational evaluation. Sign it. Keep a copy for your records. You'll find that your written report is very powerful. It will become part of
your child's permanent educational record. The school can never say this did not happen because you documented it. The written opinion is just one example of how you can document what happened, or did not happen, at an IEP meeting.
Meet Pat Howey Patricia Howey has supported families of children with disabilities since 1985. She has a specific learning disability and became involved in special education when her youngest child entered kindergarten. Pat has children, grandchildren, and great-grandchildren who have a variety of disabilities and she has used her experience to advocate for better special education services for several of them. Pat began her advocacy career as a volunteer for the Task Force on Education for the Handicapped (now InSource), Indiana’s Parent Training and Information Center. In 1990, she opened her advocacy practice and served families throughout Indiana by representing them at IEP meetings, mediation, and due process hearings. In 2017, Pat closed her advocacy practice and began working on a contract basis as a special education paralegal. Attorneys in Indiana, Texas, and California contracted with her to review documents, spot issues, draft due process complaints, prepare for hearings, and assist at hearings. In January 2019, she became an employee of the Connell Michael Kerr law firm, owned by Erin Connell, Catherine Michael, and Sonja Kerr. Her duties have now expanded to assisting with federal court cases. Patricia L. Howey, B.A., IRP
Copyright © 1998-2024, Peter W. D. Wright and Pamela Darr
Wright. All rights reserved.
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