Although
she is passing, we are very concerned about third grade . We have
been doing so much work at home with her. My husband and I requested
that she have an itinerant teacher next year. The school denied
our request. They said that she will have to flounder before they
will provide her with any help. If we stopped working with her,
she would flounder but we're not willing to do this.
We
are going to mediation about this issue.
We
contacted an attorney. The attorney suggested that we go to mediation
alone, or rather that it wasn't necessary to bring an attorney
with us. The school is sending an attorney to the mediation. Is
it wise for us to go without one?
We
have letters from professionals, audiologists, psychiatrists,
backing our case but we don't have an attorney with us.
What
else can we do or bring with us to the mediation meeting? Any
words of wisdom?
Thanks
Jim
and Mary
Dear Jim and Mary -
You
had several questions -
IDEA
97 encourages parents and schools to use mediation to resolve
their disputes. When done properly, mediation can be an excellent
way to resolve conflict. Pete and I are both trained as mediators.
We just uploaded a short article about mediation onto the website.
https://www.wrightslaw.com/info_mediation_980724.html
When
you have a dispute with the school, you need to have independent
information about these problems (independent of what you remember).
If you need to have a hearing, the school staff will not remember
things as you do. They often tell hearing officers that the parents
didn’t tell them that they were unhappy with the services the
child was receiving. Even if you deny this, it’s still one person’s
word against another.
There
are a couple of easy ways to develop a paper trail, in case you
need it to support your position. First, keep a log of contacts
between you and the school. Second, write polite businesslike
letters to the school whenever there is a meeting or decisions
are made.
For
example, after an IEP meeting, you would write a polite "thank
you" letter. You would thank the IEP team for meeting with you.
You would include your understanding about what the school is
going to provide, like this-
"My
understanding of the services that my daughter will receive is
XX, YY, ZZ"
"I
shared the new evaluation from Dr. Jones. The IEP team said they
didn’t have to incorporate any of Dr. Jones' recommendations."
"When
we asked for more help, Ms. Smith said that our daughter would
have to flounder before the school would provide any help. We
told her that we disagreed with this. We told her that our daugher
would be floundering now if we weren’t helping her so much at
home."
"We
advised the IEP team that we were spending two or three hours
a night in tutoring - and she was only in second grade."
If
problems crop up later, these letters show that the problems are
longstanding and that you have been trying to work cooperatively
with the school.
<<We
contacted an attorney who suggested that we go to this meeting
alone or rather that it wasn't necessary yet to bring an attorney
with us - the school is sending an attorney to the arbitration
though. Do you think it is wise for us to go without one?>>
For
mediation to work, neither side should bring an attorney!
Properly
done, mediation helps people communicate. Mediation helps both
sides discuss the situation openly and honestly, with the objective
of helping the parties come up with a fair acceptable solution
to their problem.
Mediation
should be confidential. If lawyers are present, there are more
chances for things to get polarized.
Perhaps
the mediator can ask the school board lawyer to stay in the waiting
room!
<<We
have letters from professionals, audiologists, psychiatrists,
backing our case but we don't have an attorney going with us.>>
Yes,
definitely bring your evaluations. Make a short list of what you
want for your daughter and have support for this from your experts.
<<Anything
else we should do or bring with us to our meeting?>>
What
should you do to prepare for mediation? Go to your local library
or bookstore and pick up a copy of Getting to Yes by Roger
Fisher. Getting to Yes is based on research about how to
resolve conflict from the Harvard Negotiation Project. Getting
to Yes will help you understand the mediation/negotiation
process and how you can participate effectively. It's a great
book - and it's a small book - probably no more than 100 pages
long.
Another
thing - assume that you resolve your current problem. You need
to remember that history repeats itself. If you begin to build
your paper trail now and have more problems later, your letters
will be good evidence of your dealings with various people at
the school.
Let
us know how things turn out.
Pete
and Pam
